About the woman's desire (Part 1)

This post refers to unconscious desires but which are painfully felt in the consciousness of man by its concrete effects. Again, we should not generalize. The conclusions described here are limited to one more perspective of the reality to be considered. I must remind the reader that the unconscious, in both sexes, is the source where the nightmares of hell and the wonderful dreams of heaven sprout.

The feminine desire is something very controversial and disconcerting. Lots of confusion reigns over it. These are mainly due to the opposition between what is conscious and unconscious. Such opposition leads women to say the opposite of what they feel and what they are (Freud himself confessed his impotence to this problem). One can not discover the factors that bewitches and submits them through questions, interviews, etc, because we will be deceived. Learn that almost everything we hear the smart ones saying about what they are looking for in a relationship is a lie and, moreover, it is just the opposite of what they really want. I am going to expose what they try to hide and never admit (however, this concealment is not always conscious. It seems to me that most of the time the woman denies it to herself).

The human sexuality is similar to that of horses, zebras, and wild donkeys. The females spontaneously go to the territory of a stallion, which is installed near the best sources of food and water (material resources), and offer their sex at ease. The other secondary males, are forced to walk in packs made only of males, running out of mating for years, until they can replace some stallion that is old. The females do not rival each other and accept the stallion's infidelity naturally (as it happens with the fans of any famous artist, mafioso, billionaire or politician). The stallion can relate to any mare in his harem without the slightest problem as long as he is able to keep beasts and secondary males stalkers away. In other words: the men considered "alpha males" act like the wild stallions and the women who pursue them act like their females (the comparison with other mammals seems inevitable. We can identify similarity in gender behaviors among the various mammals, particularly between the primates and the man. The same behavior described here among the equines is attributed by Dobzhanksy to the ancestral hominids of the man. Dobzhansky also adds that in these cases, the beta-males are on the edge of the group, waiting for the moment that they can attack the alpha-male and dethrone it. A very close hypothesis was defended by Freud). On the other hand, the men excluded from the selective criterion of women are like the rejected horses who never mate. Something very similar happens between lions, among gorillas and other animals.

For being the complement and the opposite pole of the man, the woman has an inverse psychic structure.

We want the maximum of sex and we try to have sex while we have strength until the last moment. For us, sex comes in first place and love comes second. For them, the opposite occurs: the love comes in first place. But understand it well: most of the time, they do not want to give love, they just want to receive it by giving in return only the minimum necessary to keep us trapped by the desire, the feeling and the passion. They have a double desire. They desire the servitude of the weak and the protection of the strong. They want to dominate the weak and needy to exploit them as husbands that raise their offspring while dreaming on getting the affection of the insensitive ones who possess harems and stand out in the hierarchy of the males. The weak, when imprisoned, receive sex, affection and love in minimal quantities, just enough to be kept in the jail of its owner.

They do not love us in simple automatic retribution to our love, that is, by simply loving or desiring them. They want our attractive features and not our person itself. This is explained by the fact that their needs are far beyond mating: they need to raise and protect the offspring. So they do not miss the males themselves anymore but only their attitudes in utilitarian contexts. We, on the other hand, love them, that is, directly because our existential goal is to mate. We want to pass our genes against the genes of others. We love them in body, in a directly form. We are loved indirectly, in terms of function and utility. Our lack is not felt outside the utilitarian context.

The masculine existential goal is to mate, fertilize and ensure the transmission of genetic inheritance against rival males. The feminine existential goal is raising the offspring, which goes directly to the formation of the family. For us, sex is an end and for them it is the means because the end is the creation of puppies. In other words: the feminine love is meant to the children and not to the males. Nietzsche says that the goal of women is pregnancy:

"In the woman everything is a riddle and everything has only one solution: it is called pregnancy.

For the woman, the man is nothing but the means. The end is always the child. But what is woman to man?

The man, truly man, wants two things: danger and game. That is why he wants the woman who is the most dangerous toy.

The man must be educated for war and the woman for the warrior's pleasure. Everything else is crazy.

The warrior does not like very sweet fruit. That is why he loves the woman. The sweetest woman is always bitter."
(NIETZSCHE, 1884-1885/1985)

They want the best male of the pack, the best breeder and protector: the winner, the rich, the famous, the prominent in relation to the other males. In this aspect, they do not differ from monkeys, wild mares and other females. As with certain herds of mammals and birds the leading males are preferred by females for the mating and third-rate males are rejected, the most prominent among human groups are the most desired. The movie heartthrob, artists, idols, etc, are persecuted and worshiped for being prominent and not by what they are in themselves. So, if you want to get the attention of someone who ignores you, you must be different from the others imbeciles. In the first place, you should not do what everyone else does: chase them, try to get attention, talk a lot, talk loud, make fun, hasten to please, harass, put pressure, etc. Learn to impress without making any noise or effort, as if you did not want to do it. Be more fearsome than kind (concerning fear and love, see Machiavelli and Eliphas Lévi). Impress her with no fanfare, on contrary paths to those who everybody tread. Approach her without fear but with indifference, stare into the eyes to frighten (in a healthy way. See the note on calculated "horror") and then give some protective order, ignore interesting body parts on display, disagree, attack her mistaken perspectives, scare her, "horrify her" (I am referring to the calculated "horror") with your solid arguments, scandalizes her, leave her emotionally defenseless (I refer only in the case where this is justified as legitimate emotional defense, that is, when she tries to lower your self-esteem, ridicule, despise, and so on) and surprise by protecting her with indifference. Do not fear the approach nor the loss. Take your chances. Learn to measure the exposure to loss with mastery. Tie her up (by the feelings, making her like you. "The woman chains you through your desires. Be the master of your desires and you will chain the woman." LÉVI, 1885/2001, page 73), make her think continually in you. Live in her thoughts and memories like a ghost (obviously, it is a metaphor), as she does to you. Do not try to cross the barriers by the paths that everyone tries, you must penetrate the fortress by the passages that are unguarded because they are not noticed by the idiots. Know how to perceive the moment of approach and move away, of showing disinterest and interest, to repudiate and to welcome. Do not mechanize yourself as if you were a robot. Above all, be safe and love yourself.

The feminine madness is the superiority of the male in every way and on all possible fields. They are attracted by signs of superiority: height, intelligence, money, etc, but mainly by indifference, determination and security. They reject signs of inferiority and weakness: short stature (the short stature seems to be seen by women as a sign of masculine inferiority, unfortunately. This means that the short men will have to compensate this feature with others that exerts attractive effects. Between two men who seem absolutely equal in everything, the woman will choose the tallest), poverty, flattery, stupidity (I sometimes use "raw" terms because my target audience is heterosexual adult men. I don't need to be delicate), sentimentality, adoration, doubt, romanticism, hesitation, submission, insecurity, harassment, etc. They love superiority: the workers want the owner of the company, the patients want the doctor, the students want the teacher, the fans want the artist, the short want the talls and the talls want the tallest ones yet! The german women wanted Hitler and the russians, Stalin. The greater the distance, the greater the desire, which explains the hysterical cries and fainting of women at shows. The "inferiors" (to the feminine eyes, obviously) are rejected. The superiority is defined by the social context.

They will not take care of preserving the male beside them if they feel secure. They will only do so before conquering him or under the real threat of losing him. They only surrender their treasures in extreme situations. The love that they offer in normal situations is rubbish.

The feminine betrayals almost always begins by the feeling like something "without wickedness" and not for the carnal desire, which is for them complement and not the central ingredient of love. For this reason, it is very easy for them to defend themselves when we caught them in suspicious behavior saying things like, “You are evil, evil only exists in your head”, etc. They usually camouflage their affairs or flirtations in friendships and even unite both, which is why we should be alert and distrustful of courtesies, admirations, cares and attentions that they give to certain men that they choose.

There is a specific personality, a special type of man who women harass: the sleaze, (the sleazes are real emotional swindlers. I do not approve their conduct but unfortunately I have noticed that they are successful with women. Probably for unconscious reasons, they seem to have special predilection for this type of man, a fact that harms them), the one who has improved himself in the art of representing passion to convince and at the same time, nothing feels. If love is real, it will be uninteresting. The sleaze does not fall in love and at the same time embodies feminine fantasy. It conveys the false impression of being comprehensive for not caring what his partner does or who she walks with, since he has many others and does not want commitment. He seeks her only for sex and forgets her for a long time, then causing in her to oscillate between hope and despair. He does not flatter her, it is not sticky. He is distant and mysterious, since he must hide his life, his intentions and what he does. It has all the ingredients of a perfect lover and bad character, unfortunately.

Now, the rich men are preferred because they are few and not exactly because they are rich. There are wealthy wives who have poor lovers. In addition to power, the females want the prominence and the emotional force of the lover. They want to talk from the bottom up, looking up (that is what bias-free observation has revealed to me so far (and I am open to change this conception until proven otherwise). Therefore, the man who speaks in command tone is not attacking them emotionally but attending to a request). This is why you will be despised if you are less than your partner in some sense. Be greater and protective, but distant.

The material possessions, physical superiority, or any other attribute which society has agreed to be an indicator of high status confer safety and makes the male attractive. However, it is not the social attributes the attraction factor, but rather the safety it provides for those who carry them.

A common feature to superior males, who dominate their females, is the ability to lead the relationship and the decision-making with success. The inferior males usually transmits weakness when they consult their females excessively. They are guided by the misconception that love will come in the form of acknowledgment for being good, helpful, submissive, etc. They believe that love is recognition, retribution. Poor bastards...

The feminine desire is twofold: for the burning and wild sex are chosen the insensitive, promiscuous, evil and cruel sleazes; for marriage are sought out the good, faithful, honest and hard worker. Therefore, the best part is often aimed at those who are a real crook and the worst is intended to the politically correct.

Moved by the unconscious desire to keep as many as possible males wishing them, to create a matriarchal clan, the females elaborates sophisticated psychological strategies to expose themselves to masculine desire without being held accountable. Roughly, we can divide males that are sought in two types: the provider and the lover. They fight endlessly to submit all and when they encounter one who does not submit, this becomes a major emotional problem. Those who submit serve to be providers, husbands, and those who do not submit serve to be lovers, receiving affection, love and sex of good quality.

The self-esteem of many women is defined by the amount of males who desire and pursue them. They need to feel wanted, which is why they incessantly create mechanisms to expose themselves to desire and dodge the fury of the males that they have already conquered. They wish to be chased so that they may repudiate the chaser and tell everyone, drawing to attention her power to fascinate and attract. They are violently hit in the feelings when they discover unequivocally that their sexual and affective favors are rejected. They need to continually assume that they will be chased. The inaccessible male becomes a problem and, at the same time, object of greater efforts in the sense of seduce to submit. The inaccessibility triggers seduction attempts. The rejected female leaves the inertia and mobilizes to turn the tables to take revenge because she was violently attained in self-love. Normally, the majority of heterosexual females who, for some reason, are explicitly avoided by a man and perceive it, try next an approximation motivated by the desire of revenge, by the need to raise self-esteem and not stay "underneath" the others who have received the attention and kindness of this one. They get infuriate and terribly angry because of the unsatisfied desire to reject and, at the same time, not be rejected bring them alive inside (this unconscious tendency is extremely harmful to them for impelling them to chase those who reject them and, at the same time, prevents them from being attracted to those who loves and desires them. If the latter could be able to arouse feminine desire violently, the meeting of feelings, so dreamed by humanity from the earliest days, would be possible. However, I am unable to foresee what consequences this would have).

The feminine affection is not a retribution or an automatic reflex of masculine love but a strategy for conquest and imprisonment. That is why it is directed to those who do not love them. It is also, diverted from the passionate and submissive. The affection, love and dedication are tools for imprisonment. Therefore, if you want to receive them uninterruptedly, you will have to remain in an intermediate state, near "one step from submission" without ever fully surrendering. Our mistake consists to believe in the lie that affection and love are reflections of our most sublime feelings. The more we please them, the less love we will receive from them.

To keep your wife or girlfriend faithful, she needs to feel you almost trapped but continuously inaccessible, in addition to seeing you as unique and different from the others. If in fact she trapped you, she will go on to conquer another male superior to you.

The inacessible male is an obstacle to the constant cumulative impulse that aims to expand the amount of possible protectors and providers in stock. This is why the female detain herself at him, trying to defeat him and remaining faithful while she is not able to submit him.

The reason for the desire to accumulate protectors/providers is an unconscious need for security against possible future abandonment. In this sense, they do not feel the slightest scruple in using the feelings of others because they do it unconsciously, vehemently denying to themselves or to any person such ruses.

The need to feel desired mobilizes them for the classic game to attract and repel, provoke and reject

It may seem strange, but the combination of fear with admiration and protection form a mixture that ignites the feminine desire. Be fearsome, admirable and protective. Do not misunderstand me: the fear I am referring to is the fear of loss, of being abandoned and changed; it is also the fear of weight in your decisions; it is not the fear of your physical strength, although this also counts. Do not think that I am suggesting violence against women or something like that.

Despite of all the bullshit that is said on the contrary, our friends, deep down, desire man that exercise dominion. The dominant ones are the destined to receive their treasures, the erotic delights. I refer to the domain of leadership, convergent with the desires and needs of the woman and not to the physical or psychological coercion that opposes them. It is about a leading and consensual domain, that makes her feel protected and safe as a child. To be clearer: a form of authorized mastery in which man orders exactly what a woman needs and she does it for her own well-being. The attempt of coercive domination on the part of man legitimizes emotional infernizations by the woman as a form of defense. The not consented or selfish exercise of masculine power intensifies emotional dramas and worsens the relationship. As for the successful exercise of power, it is what consecrates every democratic society (the couple is a form of society). The opposite would be chaos. It is known that all democratic human societies adopt the consensual exercise of power, have hierarchies and authorities, which exercises their dominion. The authorities refusal to exercise this dominance would be an omission that would provoke protests and even social chaos. It is in this sense that the Bible commands women to be subject to their husbands (and not in an oppressive sense as the enemies of christianity interpret) and provides punishments for the abuse of power of the latter. The power must be exercised correctly, aiming at the common good (of society as a whole, of the family or the couple) by the one who leads. It is well known that, in popular slang, the women label as "wimps" those who refuse to exercise their power in the relation to two, preferring to submit to and obey their partner. So, they say, "So-and-so is a wimp, because he let that I order and disorder on him!" This qualification of the submissives as "wimps" proves the solicitation of a dominant masculine stance. It is in this mode of domination that I am referring to, not coercive or oppressive. It is a domain exercised over the woman, by her effects, but before that, it is exercised over the psyche of the man. The women are unanimous in stating that they detest being led, but contradict themselves when they take actions that pester the submissive man, requesting for dominance and leadership, and when they are violently draw to the leaders and, in general, to all men who stands out as the center of the social circle in which they are inserted. It is much more comfortable and safe to be led than to lead. The risks and dangers of responsibility weighs much more on leaders than on those who are led, and this is one of the reasons why the women demand masculine dominance and feel contempt for the doormats. However, if leadership is disastrous, the one who had exercised will be disturbed to the brink of madness. It is a double burden: in addition to coping with the nuisance of leadership, the one who leads can not make mistakes in dominating and leading.